Today I am moving. At noon the movers will be coming by to pick up my heavy stuff and bring it over to the house. This is what it is all about - this is the big step. It is far, far more house than one single woman needs, and yet, here we are.
Divorce is hard, painful and emotional. Like many things in life, you can't imagine what it is like until you go through it. It is bad enough dividing up a relationship, what no one prepares you for is what it will be like to divide up your life.
For a long time I have been focused on how much I didn't want to live in this house. Who am I kidding? I still don't. But I have discovered something through this blog - when you stop spending your time and energy worrying about what might happen and focus instead on how to take control and make it work for you - things begin to happen. You begin to feel strong, powerful, focused, brave - instead of tired, scared and frustrated. I've thought over and over that I am not here by choice, but in fact, I am. There are other options - I could be buried with my face in the sand, waiting for foreclosure - or worst yet, I could still be in a marriage that made me miserable.
I'm not going to focus on the house as a place I don't want to be anymore. I am going to focus on the great things about it instead:
- the garden
- room to entertain
- HUGE closets
- a garage (oh, I have missed my garage)
- Great neighborhood
- nice big kitchen
- big wood porch
- a workshop
- loads of storage space
- room for all my furniture
- a place for the gals and I to have a garage sale
- a dishwasher AND a garbage disposal (things you don't get in apartments in my area.)
- hardwood floors
- light filled bedroom with a window seat
- the potential to do whatever I want - paint walls green with polka dots if I choose.
- and, it is a fantastic investment property!
No more crying or complaining - only looking forward and moving ahead!
Photo by RBerteig.