Thinking About Retirement, And What It Means To Me

I love being inspired by other bloggers. Yesterday I read a post by Frugal Dad about retirement. He asks the simple question, "What does retirement mean to you?"

As I commented on his blog... I don't really know.

In a way I find this strange. Here I am trying to get my financial house in order, looking at long term investments, contributing the max amount to get matching on my 401K - - and yet I don't really know what retirement means to me. I think part of the problem is that I am so focused on the here and now. Right now while I am concentrating on "this week" or "this month," it is hard to look too far ahead.

That isn't to say that I don't have goals. I have quite a few. At the end of last year I made my list of Goals for 2009. I also have a Three Year Plan that involves going back to school and getting my Master's Degree. I have even gone through the effort of sitting down and figuring out long term financial goals, as in how much do I need in my emergency fund to feel safe? But what I'm having a hard time with is long term goals. I feel like my life is in such a place of transition, I don't know where I want to be in the 10, 20, or the 30+ years until retirement. I have some vague glimpses, a rough idea of what kind of job I'd like and how I would like to live, but it is like trying to see through a jar of Vaseline - everything is very blurry.

Here are a few things I know -

1. I know I don't want to be scared of my financial situation ever again. Oh, I know there will be good times and bad - there will be times when investments will go up and times when we will have horrible economies, like the one we are in now. What I mean is, I never want to be in a situation like I am now - not knowing how the bills are going to be paid, not sure if the paycheck will cover the mortgage. Once I get through this period and things settle down, I am going to made great strides to prevent this type of situation from ever happening again.

2. I know I don't want to work multiple jobs and I don't want to work anywhere I don't have a passion for. Currently I have several jobs, and while I am deeply grateful for each and every one of them, this is no way for me to live long term. I need a different work/life balance, and as long as I am working, I want to work at something I care about.

However, neither of these two really answers the "What does retirement mean to you?" question....

I keep thinking about it and considering what I want in my life. I want to have time to write, to putter in my garden, to sit on the shore of my cottage... but the thing is, I don't want to wait until I am 70 for that. I want it now!

And I realize that that is the problem I am having. First, I can't quite imagine myself at 70, but also (and far more important) I don't see why I should have to wait until then to have the things I want. Okay, so maybe instead of trying to see what my life would look like through a crystal ball, I need to start with some simple truths:

- I don't know if I will ever marry again. Whether I do or don't, I refuse to be a financial burden on anyone. This means I will have to make sure I have enough money to comfortably - not excessively, but in a lifestyle I am comfortable with. I no more want to wait to start my life until I am 70, than I do want to have to drastically change it just because I am not working. This means making plans for short, mid and long term savings.

- I don't want to be a health concern for others. So, I need to work on staying active and continue to take care of myself. I also need to be cognizant of various health insurance programs. As my mother ages I begin to worry about her, especially about her health. It isn't something you can always control, but there are steps you can take.

- I refuse to be miserable in my own life again. I went through a period with my past marriage where I stopped making honest and authentic choices and instead I compromised. I compromised so far that I lost sight of myself. I never want to wake up again and look around and think "What am I doing here? How did this become my life?" So, moving forwards I will make choices that are true and genuine. I may make mistakes, but the only way I fail is if I stop listening to my own intuition.

- I don't want to spend my retirement looking back at the past. No sitting around saying "Shoulda, woulda, coulda." That means following my dreams now and keep on following them, whether I am 48 or 84.

- I want to live somewhere I love. I've experienced what it is like to dislike your home. I refuse to let that happen again. While I realize that a home is exactly what you make of it, I also know that there are places that make me happier than others. I am such an introvert that my home is a real extension of who I am. Moving forward, wherever it may be that I hang my hat, I will make sure that it makes me happy to do so.

So, what does this all mean? Looking through this list, I see that it is a prescription for how to live now, but still doesn't say what retirement means to me. So, I guess that is an answer in itself. It doesn't mean a thing. Retirement for me is simply a transition, perhaps working a little less, volunteering a little more, and making sure I get my Senior Citizen Discounts, but that's it.

That means that the trick of my retirement planning is not in how my life will change once I retire, the trick is in making sure it doesn't.


Photo by: SSynth