Meditating on a Neighbor's Mail

On my block there lives a woman whose name and address, if you didn't look very close, somewhat resembles mine. Twice in the last couple of weeks I have gotten her mail.

The first time I didn't realize it wasn't mine. I did what I normally do - take the mail inside and in my kitchen quickly open everything and sort it out. Bills go in the briefcase to be taken care of on a lunch hour, newsletters and items to be read are put next to where I eat breakfast for my morning reading, junk mail and circulars go straight into the recycle bin. I like to organize my mail the minute it comes in so nothing important gets lost and junk doesn't pile up on my counter, (as has been known to happen in the past.) The piece of mail of hers that I opened was a utility bill. I use the same company, so I didn't think twice when I saw it in my stack of bills.

Opening it was something else though. In fact, what I saw almost gave me a heart attack....

The utility bill was overdue. Severely overdue. The amount owed was twice what I normally pay and in big red letters was the shut off date.

It took me several long, heart pounding seconds to figure out that this was not some bill I had missed - that in fact, it belonged to someone else. I felt an enormous rush of relief; then I was overcome by a mix guilt and sadness. I felt guilty that I had seen this piece of mail. It wasn't just an ordinary utility statement such as everyone gets - it was a declaration that my neighbor was in trouble.

And that is why I also felt sad. I don't know this woman, though I have met her. She came to one of the garage sales my best gal friends and I threw. That's how I know where she lives and that she is a single mom with two little kids. I see them playing out in the yard in the summer. Obviously, I don't know her financial situation, but I felt really bad for her. I can't imagine what it must be like trying to make ends meet on your own with two small children to support.

Today I got another piece of mail for her. This time I noticed that it was hers. It was from a bank I didn't recognize, and the odd return address made me notice that it wasn't for me. I recognized the kind of mail though. As I walked it over to her house to slip it in her mailbox, I glanced at it. It was a slim envelope, the kind that looks like it is going to contain a check, but you can tell by the way the address is printed that it doesn't. Back in the days before I was using online banking and bill pay I used to get those exact same envelopes when I had an overdraft. I could have been projecting, but I felt a sense of dread as I slipped it into her mailbox.

I hope I am wrong. The bank also sent me mail like that when I made a mistake in my addition on a big atm deposit. I carried the numbers wrong and typed in that the deposit was $50 less than it actually was - they caught it and corrected it in my account. Or maybe it is something else all together... an offer for a life insurance policy or a reminder to reorder checks.

In any case, I wish her the best. It was a definite reminder to me of how far I have come, yet also, how sharp the knife's edge is that I walk. It doesn't look like I am going to hit my goal this month, but I am okay, I have a surplus from last month - and next month looks very good. Seeing those errant pieces of mail though has made me very, very grateful for all that I have.


Photo by: flavijus