Spending a Little Too Much, Budgeting a Little Too Little

Has anyone else been getting a million spam comments on their blog? Ugh - it has been terrible lately! I like to allow anonymous comments, but the amount of spam lately is getting ridiculous. It always makes me wonder - does this stuff actually work? Apparently, or they wouldn't do so much of it, I guess.

I mentioned that I haven't been budgeting as well as I should lately. I plan on changing that, but one thing I have noticed is that I have been spending a lot more as well. It is okay, I have the money and I am on target for many of my goals, but I still can't help but notice the increase. Some of it practical - like having the apartment painted and having some routine maintenance on my car, other of it has been social - spending time out and about with loved ones and friends. I can't say much of it is totally frivolous, but it is more than I would have been able to do just a few months ago.

The question that I have been pondering has been: Am I spending more because I am not budgeting and watching every penny, or, am I spending more because I am making more money and feel that I can? My guess is, it's a little of both...

Knowing I am making more money, that my basic needs are met and I don't need to worry about foreclosure like I once did, makes me feel more comfortable spending. Not keeping track of spending, makes it easy to underestimate how much I've spent. It's pretty much a vicious cycle.

I don't feel bad about it though, and I am not going to beat myself up about it. It is what it is. It has been nice the last couple of months to feel the way that I did prior to all this drama - back before marriage and divorce, when I lived in a little apartment, well below my means. I've enjoyed not thinking about things too much.

However, it won't continue. As I have said, my goal for the year is to build up my safety nets, and that won't happen through spending. I have also found another little odd fact... I like having a nice amount in my checking account. It makes me feel safe. Right now there is more in my checking account than I ever remember having - even back in "the good old days." It's a really good feeling - it is almost powerful. It's like knowing that I have this shield that will help get me through the hard times.

Although, having been through hard times, I know just how fragile that is, so, time to buckle down, get serious, and get focused. More on that as plans develop!

"money Shot" photo by: borman818
Via flickr