Monday, October 26, 2009

Sweet Dreams of You

Last night I had a rather odd dream. I know reading about other people's dreams is usually about as boring as watching grass grown in winter, but bear with me for a moment, I'll keep it as short as I can:

I was at a party, a kind of early afternoon, late morning brunch thing. (Those of you who have been to bridal or baby showers know the atmosphere.) A friend of mine who is quite religious got up and spoke to us about how he'd been struggling and unable to talk to God lately. He decided that the solution to his problem was to talk to friends and family about the things that were really bothering him. So he bravely stood up before us and started talking; he told us all deep dark fears in his soul and the struggles he had been going through. By the time he was done we were all in tears.

Then he asked all of us, no matter what our region, to get into groups of four and talk about what was going on in our own lives. He asked us to be brave and pour out all the things that we had bottled up inside. Moved by his example, we all started to gather to do as he asked.

But there was a problem. Since this was his party, it was with his friends. They were all people I knew, but few were close to me. They weren't people I wanted to talk to, but finally I joined a group... but then I still couldn't talk. In my group the first people to talk went on and on about their lives and I listened closely, at the same time trying to gather my own thoughts. Then when it came around to my turn, suddenly everyone got up and switched seats and formed new groups. This happened time and time again, I would sit with people, try to be a good listener, but then when my time came, the group split up. I was starting to feel pretty rotten about the whole deal.

Then the groups started forming in 5s and 6s and so on as people who were good friends started joining up and making larger groups. They were all talking, and it went from being something deeply meaningful to just chit chatting. Over in a corner, I spotted one of my best friends sitting all alone and with relief went over to talk to him. He is a great listener and was perfectly happy to sit and let me talk, so I marshaled up all my thoughts and just then.... we were both distracted by some craziness that was happening right outside the window! Agh. I never get did get to talk. That's when I woke up.

So what does all this mean? Well, I think it is a pretty good reflection of my week last week...

Last week was insanely busy. (This week will also be fairly hoppin', but not nearly as bad as last.) I was working mornings at my day job, at the part time job until 1:00 a.m. each night and, at the same time, working hard on my freelance project any free moments I had in between. All the while I was also trying to get enough rest, eat well and keep my house in some sort of order. (Did moderately okay on the first two, failed utterly on the last one.)

At the both part time and freelance jobs I work with a lot of friends, however, I've been so busy that it seems I never get a chance to talk to them. Anytime we got past, "So, how are you?" something popped up and one of us had to rush off. That's normal, we were working after all, but I think the whole combination of running from job to job, trying to get tons done and not having a lot of time to relax, combined with the fact I haven't been able to write in my blog, it all boiled up in my subconscious and came out in that odd little dream!

The truth is, life is actually going quite well. I don't have any big things bothering me, besides the usual money concerns. But I have missed being able to take a quite moment and write on my blog and read other people's blogs. I also have been thinking a lot about my friends and family and I think as soon as this last crazy week is done, I need to spend time with them.

In other words, I've missed you all - lots.

Photo by: curiousyellow
via flickr

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